The rulebook for men in the 21st century

Unapologetic masculinity

How to Draw State from Within

Before delving into exactly how to do this, it is important that you keep in mind these key points:

1. State is something you relax into, not something you amp yourself into

2. Do not stress about it, obsess over it, think about it or try hard for it

3. It will become easier and more natural over time with practice as it becomes internalized and is your new default

4. Completely letting go, having fun and developing a strong sense of self-trust all facilitate the presence of state

5. Focus on your own experience, yourself and the sensations in your own body, maintain a relaxed gaze and pay no attention to the environment

6. Don’t judge anything or anyone, including yourself

7. This will all be much easier if not come naturally to you if you are consistently sleeping well and have your nutrition, exercise and stress management dialed in


Realize that ultimately, you have complete autonomy over your current state of mind, emotions and mood.

Invite presence (stop thinking).

You may recall a happy memory, focusing on feeling those same positive vibes, happy feelings and good emotions you felt at that time, almost as if a mental movie is playing in your head (can be silent or not).

You may imagine a peaceful and happy place where you are totally at ease, comfortable and feel great (maybe you feel the sun shining a bright light on you that fills you with positive energy).

You may practice the inner smile.

With the above techniques, it is important that you truly feel the emotions in your body and then allow them to shine through you and don’t simply try to force a smile. You cannot force positive emotions or a smile, it will come across as totally incongruent, fake and definitely weird. Rather, you allow yourself to truly feel those emotions and things will often fall into place from there, feeling totally natural and congruent. A major way that you can differentiate between the fake/incongruent smile and the real/congruent smile is whether or not you are smiling with your eyes. When you truly feel the positive emotions, you will notice that you can see your eyes communicating the smile as well, have a totally relaxed and warm or inviting gaze. It is less important that you smile with your mouth, it is all about the eyes. Your smile with your mouth may actually only be very slight or a small smirk, but if you can master smiling with your eyes, that is the most important part.

The process can be outlined like this:

Relax/let go —> Focus on feeling positive emotions —> Feel positive emotions building up inside of you —> Allow them to express themselves and “shine” through you, ex. smiling with your eyes —> You feel great —> Naturally emit a positive and infectious vibe —> Everyone takes notice and are naturally very receptive to you —> Trust in the law of state transference —> Have a great time

Alternatively, you may start moving your body and just doing something silly or something that allows you to let go (jumping up and down, clapping  your hands, snapping your fingers, fist pumping–the idea that motion creates emotion via RSD).


Additional Factors that will facilitate sliding into and maintaining perpetual state:

Living in alignment with your masculine core

  • living in alignment with the natural order of things, being unapologetic in your masculinity and sexuality

your core values and beliefs

  • integrity, “owning” everything that you do, self-trust, self-reliance, self-acceptance/self-love, answering only to yourself, being on YOUR purpose, all women love sex, all women love you, all women are very fun, feminine, warm, affectionate and bubbly little kittens just full of love dying for the opportunity to get to experience you and give themselves to you

acting through your own intentions

  • taking action, doing what YOU want to do, never doing anything out of a false feeling of “need” or “pressure”, being unreactive, not filtering yourself at all–whether language or actions

allowing your internal compass to guide you

  • trusting your instincts

and being a positive-dominant presence

  • being in a meditative state, pure self-expression, playfully challenging



self-trust=  completely letting go, being entirely present, not thinking ahead, allowing everything to just flow out of your core, not judging yourself or filtering yourself, making yourself available/putting yourself out there and letting it be, trusting that you will take the right action and make the right decision at the right time, realizing that you are enough, essentially “being”


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