The rulebook for men in the 21st century

Unapologetic masculinity

Maturing into Masculinity

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
– I Corinthians 13:11

It’s pretty amazing how much I have changed in just the last 3-4 months. One thing that has really struck a chord with me is developing this whole new and deep understanding of what masculinity really is.

In my opinion and based on experience, masculinity is not:

-arrogance
-ego
-form
-negativity
-judgmental
-overly analytical
-emotionally reactive
-tense
-dependence

Instead masculinity is:

-warmth
-presence
-emotionally unreactive
-grounded
-free
-at ease
-relaxed
-fun
-on your purpose
-positive-dominance
-self-reliance
-self-esteem
-gratitude

I’ve really been moving away from the first list and more into the second and everything just feels much more natural and right. My personal relationships have all improved and I have a much greater appreciation for everything, life is an amazing thing.

There has also been a noticeable and immediate improvement in my relationships and interactions with women. While I’ve always had a number of women attracted to me, it’s gotten to the point where almost every woman I interact with is noticeably attracted to me immediately (ex. doe eyes, lights up around me, gets suddenly shy/nervous, never breaks eye contact, always smiling, voice gets higher/sweeter, very feminine and affectionate, etc.). Just walking around I get a lot of warm eye contact and smiles, girls open me on a regular basis and this all happens just by me “being” as I’m not even saying or doing anything, simply making eye contact and slightly smirking. Apparently 93% of communication is nonverbal, based on my experiences I would wholeheartedly agree and when you can really tune into this it is like a whole new world opens up to you. Further, I truly believe that women are very sensitive to this type of communication, just as they are with the emotional subtext of conversations (another valuable skill that is huge). When I talk to women all of this just gets amplified further and there is an immediate and strong sexual tension where you can feel that “electricity” in the air and the personal bubble closing off around the two of you.

You also realize how women are not these “social monsters” or “mean bitches” or anything like that at all. They’re honestly very vulnerable, insecure and fearful. Further, they all have the capacity to be very warm, feminine and affectionate–you just have to be able to bring it out of them (with your masculine polarity and presence). Women are all just longing to find a real man they can truly open up to and give themselves to. Women derive internal fulfillment from pleasing a man who can dominate them physically, mentally and emotionally. Men derive internal fulfillment from being a positive influence on all those around them, living in alignment with their core values and acting through their own intentions.

It is important to assume the positive, be present and warm, as you need to go there first in order to make room for others to meet you there. The vast majority of people (women included) are stuck in social conditioning so it is your responsibility to “go there first” so that you provide them with the permission to be real with you as you are real with them and have a genuine connection. When you are able to do this, you are able to cut right to the core of others and bypass all superficiality and really get to know people and share some amazing experiences.

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
-Plato

I feel like social conditioning and our tendency to be our own worst critic are what drive us towards the first list and away from our true selves. I’ve also come to realize how self-actualization and being your authentic self and your best self is not about finding something “out there” in the external. It’s really about stripping away all of the mental and emotional bullshit that you have accumulated over the years and getting down to your masculine core. Ultimately, living in alignment with your masculine core, allowing your internal compass to guide you and acting through your own intentions.

You already have everything you need.

It’s all inside you.

Millions of years of human evolution have guaranteed this.

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